Press 3 for Acronyms…?!

Someone telephoned me recently…the conversation went something like this… “Hi Kevin…I'm the S D of an M S B specialising in S E O…heads up is you're the C E O”

I'm ashamed to report I responded by sighing heavily then simply hung up… to date the S D of the M S B has not C M B and if he did I'd tell him my name is not Kevin and would he kindly P O!

Where am I going with this ?…well we appear to be losing the ability to communicate between the generations in a language that we all understand and by that I mean the Queens English.

Another example of my current telephone anguish …

Here at tilesandmosaics.co.uk we operate a simple policy …

• If you telephone us you will not be subjected to crass advertising spiel interspersed with spew inducing Peruvian nasal flute music.
• Nor will you be talked at by an Americanised android who demands your answers in the monotone metallic shout of a Dalek.
• Or have the same robot outline the 20 different options you have before you hear the CP3PO sound that signals your imminent plummet into the telephonic abyss.
• Nor will you be transferred to a person called Wagner who is obviously located in Outer Mongolia and speaks in a broken form of English that can only be understood by Gerbils!

On the contrary you will get a human being who can string a few words together to form a coherent sentence that is usually followed by you getting through to the person you need to speak to…staggering!

To test my bold claim why don't you call us on 0113 - 231 - 0218 and tell us what you want…you will be looked after by homo sapiens, who do speak the Queens English, albeit with a Yorkshire accent, who will advise you on which tiles and mosaics will best suit whatever project requirements you have be it private or commercial.

I will leave you for the festive season in the knowledge that acronyms were originally designed to simplify complex phrases.

Wagner nearly won the X Factor despite wailing out of key in Gerbilese for the whole series.

The Celebs in Oz have dined once more on the undercarriage of innocent marsupials and the snake that bit Sean Ryder is recovering well.

And continuing in the Antipodes, who will win The Ashes ?…bum clenching leather on willow sporting tension!

Finally…as we all brace ourselves for the inevitability that every year it snows in the UK and every year it takes the highways authority by surprise…I'll simply wish you all M C & a H NY…let's hope we all get some grit in our Christmas stockings and Wagner gets some singing lessons in his.